AKA "The Writing Woman"
I woke up today realizing I feel more alone now than I ever have in my life. And it’s not just that I’m living alone for the first time – no parents, no child: totally alone in this quiet house. It’s a different kind of alone than just being alone physically. This is a kind…
I’ve been a big fan of Ricky Gervais ever since the British version of “The Office.” I chuckled through his podcasts, laughed through “Extras,” and guffawed through his standup comedy. His irreverent humor appeals to me. Yes, he’s often brutal in his attacks, but I guess I have a dark side. Lots of people were…
For the past few months, life has been pretty good. I have my vision board in place, and lots of activities and plans and dreams for my future that keep me occupied. I’ve been writing up a storm, and was flattered by an invitation to have my Writing Widow blog included in a resource for…
I’m a Game of Thrones fan and I’m also a lover of medieval-sounding music, so I really enjoyed the new song, “Jenny of Oldstones,” by Florence + the Machine on last night’s episode. I downloaded it today from Amazon music and was listening to it sitting out under the gazebo in the hour I have between…
Will it always be this way? I feel like I’m done grieving – if that’s even possible. The mornings waking up dreading the day ahead because I know how awful and painful living without him will be are over. The nights spent hoping fervently that I’ll dream of him, just to get a glimpse of…
Wow, what a sudden change – things had been going along pretty well. I’ve been feeling like I’m “back,” present in the present, so to speak. I feel sadness now and then, and there are some times when I miss Rick more than others, but no doubt that will probably last the rest of my…
Last week, I was sitting home alone, working on the projects Rick used to take care of for our business. This was after a long day at my technical writing job and I felt a little sorry for myself, because I had to add the jobs he did for our web business plus his chores…
I was driving along through the park today, belting out one of my favorite tunes from my Amazon music library. I love music, always have. The right song has the ability to bring me to my knees – or to infuse me with the strength to rise to meet any challenge. I have one of…
As I draw closer to the end of year two, I realize I no longer feel married. That sounds dumb, since Rick’s been gone for so long, but after twenty years of marriage, I still felt like his wife, no matter what. But in the past couple of months, that feeling has faded. I lead…
One thing I’ve learned about widowhood is that it’s exhausting; it’s so much work. At first, it’s trying to make it through the long awful days without your husband. Being bombarded with memories and tears. Adapting to the empty house. Working to control your emotions in public. Striving to get out of bed each morning…