AKA "The Writing Woman"
Five years ago, I published a book of essays and poetry I wrote during the year after my husband died. The book, A Widow’s Words: Grief, Reflection, Prose, and Poetry is available on Amazon.com.
Although seven years have passed in my grief journey, I continue to receive emails from new widows who are reading my book about the first … Read the blog
I came across videos of a trip Rick and I took 14 years ago this month. He knew going to Cornwall to explore the land of my ancestors had been a life-long dream and we spent five glorious days in England. We then met up with my son and his wife to explore several other countries in Europe. It was … Read the blog
The fuchsia-pink pool noodle Rick bought me is starting to decompose around the edges. The memories of that last vacation we shared are starting to fade around the edges, too.
How can a pool noodle come to mean so much to me? How does it symbolize our love? Or his personality? Or how much he cared for me?
Can I … Read the blog
Five years ago today, I held Rick’s hand in a death grip. A literal death grip, for hour upon hour. By noon of that day, I realized he was going to die, and he did, at 8pm that night.
The night before, alone in my bed, I had an odd feeling. A scary feeling. A feeling like my life was … Read the blog
My friend Jo sent me a Facebook memory. Three years ago today, I was with Rick on the Florida gulf. We were sitting with Jo watching a gorgeous sunset in Rick’s favorite spot on Madeira Beach. I sat staring at the photo, unable to remember exactly how I felt that evening. Despite the beauty of the sunset, I know I … Read the blog
The overhead lights in the hallway started flickering again a couple of weeks ago. This hasn’t happened in a while, not a long while. When Rick first died, the ceiling lights in the kitchen started to flicker one night. I was washing dishes and could see them flickering out of the corner of my eye, but, oddly, when I looked … Read the blog
So often now, in the midst of happiness, I’ll feel this gloom settle over me. I know right away that it’s not a “random” sadness; it’s definitely Rick-related. I feel those tears just below the surface, a very mild form of the horrible grief I had shortly after losing him, but it builds every day and it starts to intrude … Read the blog
I heard the news, and then I cried
A boy I used to love has died
We were just teens the night we met
No boy had ever kissed me yet
So long ago and far away
He smiled at me and made my day
He held my hand, he kissed my face
I followed him most any place
His … Read the blog
The second anniversary of Rick’s death is Tuesday. In some ways, I can’t believe it’s been two years. In others, it feels like he’s been gone for ages. My life has changed so much since he was here, including finally acknowledging that I’m single again. Dating other men is surreal. How can this be? I was supposed to be with … Read the blog
Sitting poolside
On this hot July day
Basking in the sun,
Eyes closed against the strong rays
Two years here alone
Two summers without you
A lifetime between then and now
But I find I’m…
Still waiting
Still waiting to hear the back door slam
You, back from your bicycle ride
Still waiting to feel your shadow cross my face… Read the blog