AKA "The Writing Woman"
The overhead lights in the hallway started flickering again a couple of weeks ago. This hasn’t happened in a while, not a long while. When Rick first died, the ceiling lights in the kitchen started to flicker one night. I was washing dishes and could see them flickering out of the corner of my eye, but, oddly, when I looked … Read the blog
My years as a married woman continue to fade into the past and I’ve become accustomed to being single again. I no longer expect Rick to be here when I get home. I can’t count on him for the numerous things I used to: cooking for me, lifting heavy objects, cuddling, dancing. He’s no longer here to listen while I … Read the blog
So often now, in the midst of happiness, I’ll feel this gloom settle over me. I know right away that it’s not a “random” sadness; it’s definitely Rick-related. I feel those tears just below the surface, a very mild form of the horrible grief I had shortly after losing him, but it builds every day and it starts to intrude … Read the blog
Sunday afternoons used to be my favorite time of the week. Sunday afternoons on a chilly, gloomy fall day (as much as I HATE the approaching winter) were even better. Right about now, Rick would be ready for a nap. He would’ve just wrapped up some work on the website for one of our clients after a breakfast we shared … Read the blog
As time moves on, I feel less like a widow, and I begin to wonder how long I’ll still be writing a widow’s blog. But it may be for a little while longer, because even as I continue to pursue my new life, the “single woman” life, being a widow affects how I think and the decisions I make. It … Read the blog
Beneath the surface, the pain waits
For the waves of movement to stop
For your flurry of activity to slow
For the churning waters of your busy life to settle
The life you were so proud of recreating from the ashes
Beneath the surface, the pain waits
For the quiet times,
The peaceful times
When life is lovely and your … Read the blog
You know that awkward teen phase where you’re trying to come to terms with who you are, how you fit in the world, what you want to be when you grow up? That’s me at 62.
I’m a mature woman (well, according to my son, and many of my closest friends, that may not always be true). But, to the … Read the blog
When my son was a toddler, I wanted time to stand still. I loved being a mother. I loved the daily cuteness and cuddling and knew I’d never enjoy anything in life as much as I did being his mom. But he continued to grow, and each year, I enjoyed life more. His million questions, his sloppy kisses, holding him … Read the blog
Today is Rick‘s birthday. At this stage, I’m experienced enough with grief to know that I need to take a little time by myself before I try to venture out into public. Even two-year-old grief needs a time and a place to be released. So I stayed in bed this morning, my last vacation day this week, pulled up the … Read the blog
Once again, it’s the worst week of the year and I’m trying to make the best of it. My husband died on August 13, 2017. His birthday is August 23rd. The year he died, those 10 days were a fog of grief and pain. Rick was in remission, so his death came as a shock that Sunday. I remember feeling … Read the blog