I’m on the cusp of a new life, but it’s difficult to leave the old one behind. And, if I’m honest with myself, I feel guilty and sad, regretful that I have been able to survive without Rick, that I am making that new life on my own.
When Rick died, I never thought this would be possible – to live, to laugh, to go on and have a future without him. But I have, and – sixteen months later – now I know that I can. But as I enter another new year without him – 2019 will be the second year he will never experience – I feel I’m being disloyal to him. I feel like I’m leaving him behind, betraying him. I KNOW it’s crazy, I KNOW it’s not logical, but that’s how I feel…
Read the blog on the Hope for Widows Foundation website.