AKA "The Writing Woman"
Yesterday, Rick and I would have celebrated our 24th wedding anniversary. It was the third one since he’s been gone. I made it through the fog of the first one. By the second one, I had adapted to life alone, and I was beginning my foray into the dating world. This year…? How do I categorize this year of widowhood?… Read the blog
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At the final session, she gave us an assignment. She’ll never see it. We’ll never share it. It was just a parting gift for us to mull over and write about, another way to gain insight into ourselves, our writing abilities, our hopes, our dreams. She said, “Write about what you’re afraid of.”
After the workshop, as I pondered … Read the blog
…It’s an elusive feeling this time. The grief. The heartbreak. This makes it all final. Rick is gone and he’s never coming back. Another man is holding my hand, telling me he’s crazy about me, kissing me, “smitten” with me. And it’s one of the most bittersweet things I’ve encountered on this long, complicated grief journey.
I guess it’s time … Read the blog
Everyone experiences the loss of a loved one, and the losses compound as we age. In my 63-year span on earth, I’ve lost my father and mother, and all my grandparents, aunts, and uncles. The entire older generation is gone and now I’m losing my peers, too – cousins and friends, alike. I have felt the pain of every one … Read the blog
I was talking to Rick today when I microwaved a sweet potato for my lunch. Yes, I had a sweet potato, and nothing else, for lunch, because I live alone, I’m stuck here, and lately I find myself either too lazy to cook and foraging for food – or making a meal that’s way too big for me and eating … Read the blog
Imagine you’re driving in your car, enjoying the scenery. It’s a beautiful sunny day and you’ve been looking forward to this trip. You’re happy about being halfway to your destination and singing along with the radio, when – suddenly – the car next to you swerves in front of you and slams on the brakes. You slam on your brakes, … Read the blog
Beneath the surface, the pain waits
For the waves of movement to stop
For your flurry of activity to slow
For the churning waters of your busy life to settle
The life you were so proud of recreating from the ashes
Beneath the surface, the pain waits
For the quiet times,
The peaceful times
When life is lovely and your … Read the blog
You know that awkward teen phase where you’re trying to come to terms with who you are, how you fit in the world, what you want to be when you grow up? That’s me at 62.
I’m a mature woman (well, according to my son, and many of my closest friends, that may not always be true). But, to the … Read the blog
When my son was a toddler, I wanted time to stand still. I loved being a mother. I loved the daily cuteness and cuddling and knew I’d never enjoy anything in life as much as I did being his mom. But he continued to grow, and each year, I enjoyed life more. His million questions, his sloppy kisses, holding him … Read the blog
Today is Rick‘s birthday. At this stage, I’m experienced enough with grief to know that I need to take a little time by myself before I try to venture out into public. Even two-year-old grief needs a time and a place to be released. So I stayed in bed this morning, my last vacation day this week, pulled up the … Read the blog