AKA "The Writing Woman"
My years as a married woman continue to fade into the past and I’ve become accustomed to being single again. I no longer expect Rick to be here when I get home. I can’t count on him for the numerous things I used to: cooking for me, lifting heavy objects, cuddling, dancing. He’s no longer here to listen while I … Read the blog
So often now, in the midst of happiness, I’ll feel this gloom settle over me. I know right away that it’s not a “random” sadness; it’s definitely Rick-related. I feel those tears just below the surface, a very mild form of the horrible grief I had shortly after losing him, but it builds every day and it starts to intrude … Read the blog
Sunday afternoons used to be my favorite time of the week. Sunday afternoons on a chilly, gloomy fall day (as much as I HATE the approaching winter) were even better. Right about now, Rick would be ready for a nap. He would’ve just wrapped up some work on the website for one of our clients after a breakfast we shared … Read the blog
I heard the news, and then I cried
A boy I used to love has died
We were just teens the night we met
No boy had ever kissed me yet
So long ago and far away
He smiled at me and made my day
He held my hand, he kissed my face
I followed him most any place
His … Read the blog
You know that awkward teen phase where you’re trying to come to terms with who you are, how you fit in the world, what you want to be when you grow up? That’s me at 62.
I’m a mature woman (well, according to my son, and many of my closest friends, that may not always be true). But, to the … Read the blog
Today is Rick‘s birthday. At this stage, I’m experienced enough with grief to know that I need to take a little time by myself before I try to venture out into public. Even two-year-old grief needs a time and a place to be released. So I stayed in bed this morning, my last vacation day this week, pulled up the … Read the blog
The second anniversary of Rick’s death is Tuesday. In some ways, I can’t believe it’s been two years. In others, it feels like he’s been gone for ages. My life has changed so much since he was here, including finally acknowledging that I’m single again. Dating other men is surreal. How can this be? I was supposed to be with … Read the blog
Sitting poolside
On this hot July day
Basking in the sun,
Eyes closed against the strong rays
Two years here alone
Two summers without you
A lifetime between then and now
But I find I’m…
Still waiting
Still waiting to hear the back door slam
You, back from your bicycle ride
Still waiting to feel your shadow cross my face… Read the blog
Rick and I were married on July 12, 1997. He died one month after our twentieth anniversary. This Friday will mark the second time I’ve spent our anniversary alone. In a way, it’s almost the third time, because on our last anniversary together in 2017, he was pretty sick and often mentally confused, so our special day wasn’t so special. … Read the blog
My mom once told me…
That people in heaven can’t see us
She said heaven is a happy place, a peaceful place that our loved ones go to when they die
She said earth is a sad place
So people in heaven can’t see us hurting, sick, sad, and depressed
Or they would be sad, too.
My mom once told … Read the blog