AKA "The Writing Woman"
This morning I woke up, and foolishly went to the widows’ support group on FB. A woman mentioned the theory that our loved ones wait until we leave to die. They hold on until that time, then you may go to get a drink of water, take a bathroom break, and that’s the time that they die.
I immediately thought … Read the blog
December 20, 2017
18 weeks
Dear Rick,
I went to Costco today.
I doubt I’ve ever gone without you. Maybe once, but maybe not. Costco was us, just as Home Depot, Lowe’s, Ikea, and all those other stores were places we went together.
Roaming the aisles of Costco with you was one of life’s simple pleasures, one of our “our … Read the blog
December 11, 2017
The printer just made the cycling noise that lets me know you are here.
So I started blabbing to you. I think you may be around at other times, but when I hear this, I jump at the chance that you’re trying to tell me you’re here.
I love you. You know that.
I wonder what you … Read the blog
Sometimes I wail.
I don’t just weep, or cry, or even sob.
I wail.
It’s been a little more than four months since I became a widow. This is new territory for me. I met Rick when I was nearly 40, a never-married mother of one son. Marriage had eluded me. I’d obviously met men, since I was a mother, … Read the blog
Every morning I get a reminder from Time Hop…”see what happened on this date…”
I open the app with trepidation.
Will it make me laugh or cry? Will the photos from the past affect me like a dagger through the heart?
Four years ago…Rick sitting by the fire in the backyard. He’s wearing his favorite red hoodie and the plaid … Read the blog
I was driving to my grief counseling session, foolish enough to listen to the radio.
I can’t listen to music anymore, and music is something I’ve loved my whole life. Music is passion and feelings and emotion and more. A passionate love of music is also something Rick and I shared.
We had different tastes in music, but we both … Read the blog
Dear Rick,
Remember when we picked out the new living room furniture together? It was a little more than a year before you died. I took photos. The date on the pictures is May 22, 2016 – around 12:30 pm. We didn’t even have a clue about what was ahead as we enjoyed ourselves on that happy day. We didn’t … Read the blog
Would one more time have helped?
I am once again swamped with regrets for the times I was too wrapped up in other activities (or my exhaustion or sadness and despair) to drop everything and come to you, join you as you lay in bed. But would one more time, one more embrace, one more talk have helped assuage this … Read the blog
Dear Rick,
How could I so easily forget the one place that has so much meaning, the place that would be so difficult to return to without you?
Home Depot was a huge part of our marriage. It started at Lester’s, when we were planning to buy his house on land contract. We put a lot of work into that … Read the blog
Rick has been gone three months. In the past two days, I made it through three firsts: I went to get biopsy results alone (uterine cancer scare), I celebrated my birthday, and, of course, Thanksgiving. I have so many things to be thankful for: the biopsy results were good, and my family and friends were supportive and wonderful on my … Read the blog