Every morning I get a reminder from Time Hop…”see what happened on this date…”
I open the app with trepidation.
Will it make me laugh or cry? Will the photos from the past affect me like a dagger through the heart?
Four years ago…Rick sitting by the fire in the backyard. He’s wearing his favorite red hoodie and the plaid jacket that I hastily grabbed from the front closet this morning when I took out the garbage. I’ve appropriated some of his clothing and jackets. I suppose it’s an attempt to feel close to him again. He wore this. It touched him. He was alive.
How does today’s photo make me feel?
Sad. Happy.
Sad that he’s gone.
Happy that he was once here and part of my life…that we had those times by the fire, his favorite part of the day.
Grief for what will never be again.