widow journey

The Love of a Lifetime – Hope for Widows Blog

As the sixth anniversary of Rick’s death approaches, I realize I’ve had many shifts in my attitude about how I view my life here alone. For about the first two years, my whole identity was that of a widow. I was still part of a couple, one of us just wasn’t living. I continued to participate with most of the habits and activities we used to do together, like Sunday mornings in our booth at the diner, sitting under the gazebo in the evenings, working on home improvement projects, but life was a lot quieter doing those things alone. I think I wanted to preserve the feeling that he was still here. Making too many changes would negate the life we created.

But after a couple of years, I gave up. There was no bringing him back, and as I started to feel more single, and no longer half of a couple, I changed as a person…

Once I began to start dating, I missed him all over again. There is just no one like him. And that’s normal, I guess. I picked him as the person I wanted to spend my life with, so we must’ve been pretty compatible, more so than I would be with some new man. But Rick and his own unique personality, sense of humor, vast scope of knowledge and intelligence, creativity, spunk, and kookiness, all rolled into one.. how would I ever find someone like that again?

Read the blog on the Hope for Widows website.

About the author

Katherine Billings Palmer is a technical writer, poet, and essayist from Garden City, Michigan. She’s won several academic writing awards, including first place in the University of Michigan Dearborn Critical Essay Contest for her work about poet John Donne: “‘The Sun Rising’: A Lover’s Boast.”

In 2017, Katherine’s husband, Rick, died of complications from small cell lung cancer. She wrote a series of poems and essays about her struggles to cope with her grief. I Wanted to Grow Old With You is available on Amazon in paperback and Kindle editions.

Her latest book, A Widow’s Words: Grief, Reflection, Prose, and Poetry – The First Year was published in January 2019 and is also available on Amazon.com.

Katherine is a guest blogger for the Hope for Widows Foundation and writes about her grief journey at www.TheWritingWidow.com.

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