The Ordinary Moments – May 2022 Hope for Widows Blog

I was watching a Brene Brown video and she talked about how everyone wants to have extraordinary experiences, but how the little things in life really matter more. She said that after stunning life events, like near-death experiences, the death of a loved one, or other traumas, in the aftershock, what we miss are the ordinary moments before the event occurred.

As an example, she said after the death of her husband, one woman asked: “Can I please hear him come through the screen porch door again?”

Well, great… there’s a trigger.

All these years later, I still long for those ordinary moments I shared with Rick. I remember the parties and life celebrations, but what I miss most – living here alone in the “afterlife” – are the simple things that made life so satisfying.

I miss riding in the car to some mundane destination. Gabbing about everything and anything and pointing out interesting things to each other on the ride. Singing out loud together when some peppy song came on the radio. Holding hands across the center console.

Read the rest of the blog on the Hope for Widows site.

About the author

Katherine Billings Palmer is a technical writer, poet, and essayist from Garden City, Michigan. She’s won several academic writing awards, including first place in the University of Michigan Dearborn Critical Essay Contest for her work about poet John Donne: “‘The Sun Rising’: A Lover’s Boast.”

In 2017, Katherine’s husband, Rick, died of complications from small cell lung cancer. She wrote a series of poems and essays about her struggles to cope with her grief. I Wanted to Grow Old With You is available on Amazon in paperback and Kindle editions.

Her latest book, A Widow’s Words: Grief, Reflection, Prose, and Poetry – The First Year was published in January 2019 and is also available on

Katherine is a guest blogger for the Hope for Widows Foundation and writes about her grief journey at

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