I Desperately Want to Turn Back Time

by gerry | Posted on

I desperately want to turn back time.

I want to relive every moment, good and bad.
I want you here.
I want more time.

I want normal and nothing has been normal since you died.

When you were diagnosed, we knew there was no forever,
but I never really pictured it. It was a vague shadowy future that I dreaded but wouldn’t allow myself to truly envision.

I couldn’t have if I tried.

I never could have imagined a pain this raw.

About the author

Katherine Billings Palmer is a technical writer, poet, and essayist from Garden City, Michigan. She’s won several academic writing awards, including first place in the University of Michigan Dearborn Critical Essay Contest for her work about poet John Donne: “‘The Sun Rising’: A Lover’s Boast.”

In 2017, Katherine’s husband, Rick, died of complications from small cell lung cancer. She wrote a series of poems and essays about her struggles to cope with her grief. I Wanted to Grow Old With You is available on Amazon in paperback and Kindle editions.

Her latest book, A Widow’s Words: Grief, Reflection, Prose, and Poetry – The First Year was published in January 2019 and is also available on Amazon.com.

Katherine is a guest blogger for the Hope for Widows Foundation and writes about her grief journey at www.TheWritingWidow.com.

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I'm a guest contributor on the Hope for Widows Foundation website blog. This organization is a wonderful resource for those of us who are striving to continue to find hope after losing our husbands. Hope for Widows Foundation, a 501(c)3 organization, opens the door to a new world for widows, ensuring they do not go through their experience alone, but with life-long connections and lasting support. Visit their website or Facebook page. Their private Facebook group is filled with loving, supportive fellow widows who have provided much love and encouragement to me since joining the group a week after Rick's death. I encourage you to join.

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