I Desperately Want to Turn Back Time

I desperately want to turn back time.

I want to relive every moment, good and bad.
I want you here.
I want more time.

I want normal and nothing has been normal since you died.

When you were diagnosed, we knew there was no forever,
but I never really pictured it. It was a vague shadowy future that I dreaded but wouldn’t allow myself to truly envision.

I couldn’t have if I tried.

I never could have imagined a pain this raw.

About the author

Katherine Billings Palmer is a technical writer, poet, and essayist from Garden City, Michigan. She’s won several academic writing awards, including first place in the University of Michigan Dearborn Critical Essay Contest for her work about poet John Donne: “‘The Sun Rising’: A Lover’s Boast.”

In 2017, Katherine’s husband, Rick, died of complications from small cell lung cancer. She wrote a series of poems and essays about her struggles to cope with her grief. I Wanted to Grow Old With You is available on Amazon in paperback and Kindle editions.

Her latest book, A Widow’s Words: Grief, Reflection, Prose, and Poetry – The First Year was published in January 2019 and is also available on Amazon.com.

Katherine is a guest blogger for the Hope for Widows Foundation and writes about her grief journey at www.TheWritingWidow.com.

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