Now that I’ve been in mourning for more than 4 months, I think this grief thing is pretty predictable: I’ll wake up each morning and immediately notice your absence. I’ll either bury the thought and jump out of bed, or – on the weekends – I’ll bury myself deeper under the covers and begin remembering you and our time together.
It’s the little losses that are unpredictable.
I’m stressed at work, I want to turn to you to vent. You’re not there.
I have a cold, I’m tired and cranky – you aren’t there to cheer me up and bring me some comfort food. You don’t feel my head with the back of your big, strong hand and make your pronouncement: no fever!
Nothing big. It’s the little losses that pile up and eventually swallow me up in grief.
December 6, 2017
