grief journey

What I’m Left With – Latest post on the Hope4Widows website

I catch myself talking out loud a lot when I’m alone in the car. Luckily, nowadays, the passengers in the cars around me assume I’m on a hands-free phone, so it doesn’t seem strange to see me alone gabbing away while I’m sitting at the red light next to them.

Except, the reality is, I’m not on the phone. I’m talking to Rick. And, although it’s not truly audible, he usually answers. I can’t say when I discovered this odd little habit, but I realize that I’ve never stopped talking to him since the day he died. Throughout our marriage, he was my go-to in-house therapist, my sounding board for everything, and the person who gave me a pep talk when I was down.

How could I ever stop seeking his advice and comfort? Death isn’t strong enough to sever that connection…

Read the blog here.

About the author

Katherine Billings Palmer is a technical writer, poet, and essayist from Garden City, Michigan. She’s won several academic writing awards, including first place in the University of Michigan Dearborn Critical Essay Contest for her work about poet John Donne: “‘The Sun Rising’: A Lover’s Boast.”

In 2017, Katherine’s husband, Rick, died of complications from small cell lung cancer. She wrote a series of poems and essays about her struggles to cope with her grief. I Wanted to Grow Old With You is available on Amazon in paperback and Kindle editions.

Her latest book, A Widow’s Words: Grief, Reflection, Prose, and Poetry – The First Year was published in January 2019 and is also available on

Katherine is a guest blogger for the Hope for Widows Foundation and writes about her grief journey at

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