You’re not coming back, are you?

I think I keep waiting for your return.

Maybe you’re at the store. Maybe you even left town for a couple of weeks, as strange as that would be.

Maybe you’re off riding your bike…riding, riding…back streets, dirt roads, through the park, enjoying yourself on this beautiful 76° day.

Maybe you’re at Costco roaming the aisles, checking out all the prices of the new things you could possibly buy.

Maybe you’re not. Maybe you’re really not coming back.

Maybe this wounded part of my heart and illogical part of my brain are going to have to grasp the fact that you’re not out there somewhere, you never will be coming back.

About the author

Katherine Billings Palmer is a technical writer, poet, and essayist from Garden City, Michigan. She’s won several academic writing awards, including first place in the University of Michigan Dearborn Critical Essay Contest for her work about poet John Donne: “‘The Sun Rising’: A Lover’s Boast.”

In 2017, Katherine’s husband, Rick, died of complications from small cell lung cancer. She wrote a series of poems and essays about her struggles to cope with her grief. I Wanted to Grow Old With You is available on Amazon in paperback and Kindle editions.

Her latest book, A Widow’s Words: Grief, Reflection, Prose, and Poetry – The First Year was published in January 2019 and is also available on

Katherine is a guest blogger for the Hope for Widows Foundation and writes about her grief journey at

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