AKA "The Writing Woman"
My counselor, Vaiva, told me in one of our early sessions that generally it takes about a year per decade of a marriage to work through the grief. It’s obviously not a hard and fast deadline, and everyone grieves differently. She was just letting me know early, that after having a relationship that lasted 20 years, I shouldn’t wonder why … Read the blog
If you were here this morning,
You would have urged me out of bed
“C’mon it’s a beautiful day!” you’d say
And convince me to eat breakfast on the deck
When we were finished, you’d say,
“Let’s get this pool open – you love to swim. It won’t take long…”
And we’d work together, side by side…
You with your … Read the blog
This morning, I made the mistake of looking at my Timehop app before I got out of bed. Two years ago today, Saturday, May 27th, at 8:58 a.m., I took two videos. The first was Rick snoring softly beside me, with his favorite blanket nearly covering his entire head. In the second video, I started recording his face as he … Read the blog
I woke up today realizing I feel more alone now than I ever have in my life.
And it’s not just that I’m living alone for the first time – no parents, no child: totally alone in this quiet house. It’s a different kind of alone than just being alone physically. This is a kind of alone that I didn’t … Read the blog
I’ve been a big fan of Ricky Gervais ever since the British version of “The Office.” I chuckled through his podcasts, laughed through “Extras,” and guffawed through his standup comedy. His irreverent humor appeals to me. Yes, he’s often brutal in his attacks, but I guess I have a dark side. Lots of people were offended by his Golden Globe … Read the blog
For the past few months, life has been pretty good. I have my vision board in place, and lots of activities and plans and dreams for my future that keep me occupied. I’ve been writing up a storm, and was flattered by an invitation to have my Writing Widow blog included in a resource for widows and widowers being developed … Read the blog
…. So, yes, I like my house now. I can finally appreciate and enjoy living alone in the house Rick and I built and shared together for so many years. I’ve come to a place where I’m no longer filled with the sadness of my loss. Instead I feel peace and comfort living with the beautiful memories contained within these … Read the blog
Will it always be this way?
I feel like I’m done grieving – if that’s even possible. The mornings waking up dreading the day ahead because I know how awful and painful living without him will be are over. The nights spent hoping fervently that I’ll dream of him, just to get a glimpse of him again, just to have … Read the blog
…. Last night, as I watched the news footage of Notre Dame burning, at first, I was saddened by the loss of such a beautiful testament to gothic architecture. I’ve always cherished old buildings and historical sites. I’m a genealogist, and any old artifact or site from another era makes me feel a connection with past generations that moves me … Read the blog
Wow, what a sudden change – things had been going along pretty well. I’ve been feeling like I’m “back,” present in the present, so to speak. I feel sadness now and then, and there are some times when I miss Rick more than others, but no doubt that will probably last the rest of my life. In general, I’ve been … Read the blog