As an avid swimmer all my life, I know how dangerous and unpredictable waves can be. One minute, you’re frolicking in the surf, head above water, enjoying the vibrant, alive feeling of being submerged in the cold water, floating or swimming, and having the time of your life. The next, you’re knocked off your feet, gasping for breath as you’re … Read the blog
Tag: grief
Date Night – New Post on Hope for Widows website
. . .One evening, a couple of months after Rick died, I just couldn’t stand being alone in the house anymore, but I also knew I was not fit company for anyone. I was miserable and sad and lonely, but I was only lonely for Rick, so that also negated the idea of calling a friend or family member. I … Read the blog
Eighty Percent Me
On my way to trivia finals this morning, I was reminded of last October, two months after Rick died, when I was invited to play with this same team in a trivia finals event. After Rick was diagnosed in October 2016, we rarely went to our regular Monday league games anymore. At first, he was often sick with chemo side … Read the blog
Happy Birthday to My Love
On this special day, I miss
Giving you your birthday kiss
And helping you enjoy your day
By celebrating some fun way
A movie? Dinner? Restaurant?
You’d ask, and I’d do what you want
Then rush around to find your gift
Some tech toy would give you a lift
And you were pleased so easily
Whatever gift you got from … Read the blog
When Logic Meets Grief
I’ve always considered myself a logical person. I love puzzling out things, playing detective. Rick teased me about my supposed sleuthing skills all the time and affectionately called me Kinsey Millhone (the great fictional detective in the Sue Grafton novels). I like logic so much, I even took two logic classes in college. But if there’s one thing I keep … Read the blog
It’s Just a Day
It’s just a day.
I keep telling myself that. A day has no power. A day can’t hurt you. Why did I fear waking up today, August 13th? I’ve made it this far. I made it through all the days and weeks and months after this horrible day last year, and I’ve survived.
Last year, at this very time, I … Read the blog
One Year Without You – A Poem
I’ve been writing a lot lately. I have so many thoughts swirling around in my mind that I need to get out. I know it has to do with the looming one-year anniversary of Rick’s death and the grief that evokes. I want so much to remember everything about him, his love for me, and our beautiful life together, yet … Read the blog
The Futility of the Physical – new blog on Hope for Widows site
Beginning next month, the old company logo at work is being replaced and removed from all our products. Rick created that logo 20 years ago.
I thought, there goes another piece of Rick, his legacy, his mark on the world. And I swallowed the temptation to cry as business continued to be discussed around me.
And the more I contemplate … Read the blog
Garbage Day
Wednesday is garbage day in my part of the neighborhood, and every Wednesday evening, when I return home from babysitting my grandsons, I wheel the empty garbage can and recycling bin back to their place on the side of my garage. And – sometimes – if it’s very late when I get home, or it’s raining, or snowy, or for … Read the blog
The Dance
When Rick and I were first dating, I was nervous about it. We had met online and this was well before an app for swiping through potential mates was even invented. It was 1996, and it was the early days of internet dating using America Online. Because online dating was a completely new and bizarre concept, it was a scary … Read the blog