Today is Rick‘s birthday. At this stage, I’m experienced enough with grief to know that I need to take a little time by myself before I try to venture out into public. Even two-year-old grief needs a time and a place to be released. So I stayed in bed this morning, my last vacation day this week, pulled up the … Read the blog
Tag: memories
Still Waiting
Sitting poolside
On this hot July day
Basking in the sun,
Eyes closed against the strong rays
Two years here alone
Two summers without you
A lifetime between then and now
But I find I’m…
Still waiting
Still waiting to hear the back door slam
You, back from your bicycle ride
Still waiting to feel your shadow cross my face… Read the blog
Until Death Do Us Part – Hope4Widows
Rick and I were married on July 12, 1997. He died one month after our twentieth anniversary. This Friday will mark the second time I’ve spent our anniversary alone. In a way, it’s almost the third time, because on our last anniversary together in 2017, he was pretty sick and often mentally confused, so our special day wasn’t so special. … Read the blog
Our Little Paradise
It’s a beautiful day in northern Michigan, the beginning of the week-long vacation my family and I enjoy every July at our cottage. My grandpa built his retirement home on Lake Huron nearly sixty years ago and it’s been passed down through generations to those of us who enjoy it today. We call it Paradise.
For me, coming here as … Read the blog
The Rose-Colored Glasses
In early 2016, I led a charmed life.
I was married and sharing my world with a man who loved me. We lived in our happy little home, and enjoyed the perks of having worked for years and years to have our tech gadgets and our pool and our vacations. Rick had just started receiving social security benefits and my … Read the blog
What I’m Left With – Latest post on the Hope4Widows website
I catch myself talking out loud a lot when I’m alone in the car. Luckily, nowadays, the passengers in the cars around me assume I’m on a hands-free phone, so it doesn’t seem strange to see me alone gabbing away while I’m sitting at the red light next to them.
Except, the reality is, I’m not on the phone. I’m … Read the blog
My Mom Once Told Me…
My mom once told me…
That people in heaven can’t see us
She said heaven is a happy place, a peaceful place that our loved ones go to when they die
She said earth is a sad place
So people in heaven can’t see us hurting, sick, sad, and depressed
Or they would be sad, too.
My mom once told … Read the blog
If You Were Here
If you were here this morning,
You would have urged me out of bed
“C’mon it’s a beautiful day!” you’d say
And convince me to eat breakfast on the deck
When we were finished, you’d say,
“Let’s get this pool open – you love to swim. It won’t take long…”
And we’d work together, side by side…
You with your … Read the blog
The Man Who Slept Beside Me
This morning, I made the mistake of looking at my Timehop app before I got out of bed. Two years ago today, Saturday, May 27th, at 8:58 a.m., I took two videos. The first was Rick snoring softly beside me, with his favorite blanket nearly covering his entire head. In the second video, I started recording his face as he … Read the blog
Today, I Will Sit in the Sun – A Poem
Spring has finally arrived in Michigan and today was a beautiful Sunday afternoon. I’m used to being alone here now; this will be my second springtime without Rick. As our time together continues to fade into the past, I often stop to think how much he would have enjoyed certain things – and days like today were his favorite because … Read the blog