AKA "The Writing Woman"
My mom once told me… That people in heaven can’t see us She said heaven is a happy place, a peaceful place that our loved ones go to when they die She said earth is a sad place So people in heaven can’t see us hurting, sick, sad, and depressed Or they would be sad,…
If you were here this morning, You would have urged me out of bed “C’mon it’s a beautiful day!” you’d say And convince me to eat breakfast on the deck When we were finished, you’d say, “Let’s get this pool open – you love to swim. It won’t take long…” And we’d work together, side…
This morning, I made the mistake of looking at my Timehop app before I got out of bed. Two years ago today, Saturday, May 27th, at 8:58 a.m., I took two videos. The first was Rick snoring softly beside me, with his favorite blanket nearly covering his entire head. In the second video, I started…
Spring has finally arrived in Michigan and today was a beautiful Sunday afternoon. I’m used to being alone here now; this will be my second springtime without Rick. As our time together continues to fade into the past, I often stop to think how much he would have enjoyed certain things – and days like…
I’m a Game of Thrones fan and I’m also a lover of medieval-sounding music, so I really enjoyed the new song, “Jenny of Oldstones,” by Florence + the Machine on last night’s episode. I downloaded it today from Amazon music and was listening to it sitting out under the gazebo in the hour I have between…
Will it always be this way? I feel like I’m done grieving – if that’s even possible. The mornings waking up dreading the day ahead because I know how awful and painful living without him will be are over. The nights spent hoping fervently that I’ll dream of him, just to get a glimpse of…
It’s really hard to watch your husband’s work disappear day by day. The beautiful things he built around the house and in the yard get older and more worn out. The wonderful websites he designed get taken down, because the clients move on or go out of business – or because I was forced to…
Last week, I was sitting home alone, working on the projects Rick used to take care of for our business. This was after a long day at my technical writing job and I felt a little sorry for myself, because I had to add the jobs he did for our web business plus his chores…
As I draw closer to the end of year two, I realize I no longer feel married. That sounds dumb, since Rick’s been gone for so long, but after twenty years of marriage, I still felt like his wife, no matter what. But in the past couple of months, that feeling has faded. I lead…
One thing I’ve learned about widowhood is that it’s exhausting; it’s so much work. At first, it’s trying to make it through the long awful days without your husband. Being bombarded with memories and tears. Adapting to the empty house. Working to control your emotions in public. Striving to get out of bed each morning…