I’m used to life without you I’ve made all new routines The quiet house seems normal now My life’s gone on, it seems I function out in public Can hold my tears inside No longer overcome with sobs Seeking a place to hide I’m used to traveling on my own And tables set for one…
Tag: memories
Fantasy Time
Sometimes, I can still hear your voice in my head telling me, “I love you honey.” I can still hear you saying, “It will be OK.” And every now and then one of your catchphrases pops into my head: “That’s why they call me ‘the big fella,’” or even, “Shut the hell up.” When something…
Thanksgiving Day, 2018
I was missing Rick on our second Thanksgiving apart, and my second birthday without him, but I realized that he will never truly be gone. Thanksgiving Day, 2018 Another holiday is done The kids came by and we had fun I’m thankful for my family And how my life’s turned out to be But now…
My Substitute Life – New Post on Hope for Widows website
…After 15 months of widowhood, I’ve pretty much adapted to my current status. And, sometimes, when I take inventory of where my life is headed, now that I’m on my own, I ask myself, Other than the fact that your husband is dead, how do you like your life? And the answer is – I have…
Autumn Leaves
Can I pretend, just for a few minutes That you are outside in the yard Wearing your red flannel hoodie? Can I imagine, just for a while On this beautiful November Saturday – That you’re raking the fallen leaves, as you loved to do? Wearing your tiny white iPhone earbuds, You’re listening to the new…
Telling Guilt to Take a Hike
After more than a year of coming to terms with Rick’s death, today I came to realize that grieving is just a long-running battle with the words I tell myself in my head. There’s a voice in a continuously running monologue that tells me things that I need to either heed or ignore, words to…
Filling the Void
I was fine. I made it through going to our diner for breakfast. I purposely flipped past the song that would make me cry on the way home on this dreary day. I pulled into our driveway and for one quick second, looked at the beautiful red-orange leaves on the tree outside our bedroom and…
Becoming a Chill Widow – New Post on Hope for Widows website
… So here I am, with all the usual stress inducers (and more) and no Rick to balance it all out for me. No backrubs. No one to say, “Don’t worry, honey, none of that matters. Let’s take a drive through the park.” I am graced with the support of wonderful friends and family, so…
My Husband Wasn’t Perfect – New Post on Hope for Widows website
I have a confession to make: I used to complain about my husband. Yes, I have to admit that Rick, my perfect husband, the man I adored so much in life, was actually not so perfect, after all. And at times, when I was out with friends, or particularly aggravated by some of his failings…
Keeping My Head Above Water
As an avid swimmer all my life, I know how dangerous and unpredictable waves can be. One minute, you’re frolicking in the surf, head above water, enjoying the vibrant, alive feeling of being submerged in the cold water, floating or swimming, and having the time of your life. The next, you’re knocked off your feet,…









