AKA "The Writing Woman"
It’s just a day. I keep telling myself that. A day has no power. A day can’t hurt you. Why did I fear waking up today, August 13th? I’ve made it this far. I made it through all the days and weeks and months after this horrible day last year, and I’ve survived. Last year,…
I’ve been writing a lot lately. I have so many thoughts swirling around in my mind that I need to get out. I know it has to do with the looming one-year anniversary of Rick’s death and the grief that evokes. I want so much to remember everything about him, his love for me, and…
Beginning next month, the old company logo at work is being replaced and removed from all our products. Rick created that logo 20 years ago. I thought, there goes another piece of Rick, his legacy, his mark on the world. And I swallowed the temptation to cry as business continued to be discussed around me….
Wednesday is garbage day in my part of the neighborhood, and every Wednesday evening, when I return home from babysitting my grandsons, I wheel the empty garbage can and recycling bin back to their place on the side of my garage. And – sometimes – if it’s very late when I get home, or it’s…
When Rick and I were first dating, I was nervous about it. We had met online and this was well before an app for swiping through potential mates was even invented. It was 1996, and it was the early days of internet dating using America Online. Because online dating was a completely new and bizarre…
I thought it may all be past me now, the feeling of devastation, the tsunami of pain. Apparently, it wasn’t. I made it through our anniversary yesterday. We were married July 12, 1997. He died one month after our anniversary last year. I feared it would be a day filled with the pain of his…
I met a man who loved the sun, I knew at once he was the one. He said, I’ll take you far and wide, If only you will be my bride. I said “I do,” sealed with a kiss, And we began our wedded bliss. His word was true, and we did go Around the…
I was tidying up the kitchen yesterday, and I reached for the spray bottle of cleaner. I noticed it’s almost empty and reminded myself that I need to add it to my shopping list. Then my mind started its typical chain of thoughts… Rick bought this bottle. He bought a couple of bottles at the…
One of the most difficult and unexpected things I’ve had to cope with in this grieving process is getting used to the quiet, the deafening quiet. I miss the groans he emitted as he arose from his chair or sat down again – or as he loudly clomped up the basement stairs after getting a…
I was running late this morning (nothing new about that). But today I was particularly late, and at the time I got in my car and started it up, I’m usually already sitting at my desk at work. I wouldn’t normally have been in the car when this song was playing. Timing is everything. So…