AKA "The Writing Woman"
Rick has been gone three months. In the past two days, I made it through three firsts: I went to get biopsy results alone (uterine cancer scare), I celebrated my birthday, and, of course, Thanksgiving. I have so many things to be thankful for: the biopsy results were good, and my family and friends were supportive and wonderful on my … Read the blog
Funeral Blues
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone.
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling in the sky the message He is Dead,
Put crêpe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let … Read the blog
Dear Rick,
Matt stopped by my desk to discuss hot sauce. He mentioned remembering that Brandon had been saving Taco Bell taco sauce packets at one time.
Wow….remember when Brandon saved hot sauce packets and put them in a giant box and wrapped and gave it to you for Christmas? God, that was funny. You were genuinely thrilled to receive … Read the blog
Sausage biscuits and bananas…
The Alexa shopping list still has items I was going to buy for Rick.
Fourteen weeks ago, he died.
November 19, 2017
… Read the blogDear Rick,
When using the broken vase analogy, my counselor said to pick out some beautiful pieces and make a mosaic.
I think of that often, as I try to decide what to take from our marriage on my new solo journey – my very painful foray into the future without you.
It’s work-at-home Friday. I toiled all morning on … Read the blog
I went for minor surgery without Rick yesterday. He was always by my side, even in the doctor’s office when discussing the procedures or issues. He drove me, sat with me, took me for lunch somewhere to celebrate the fact that I had done whatever was required despite my negative feelings about anything to do with doctoring or medicine. I’ve … Read the blog
I had another slight meltdown today after Lynn left. I didn’t feel like doing anything except sitting in my Rick blanket cocoon. I guess it was because I spent the entire day until 1:30am with others and didn’t have any time to cry.
I thought of Rick several times yesterday. In the movies, he was always next to me. We … Read the blog
I desperately want to turn back time.
I want to relive every moment, good and bad.
I want you here.
I want more time.
I want normal and nothing has been normal since you died.
When you were diagnosed, we knew there was no forever,
but I never really pictured it. It was a vague shadowy future that I dreaded … Read the blog
I was looking for a picture of Rick cooking to go with a blog post. I came across several pictures from Weeki Wachee. We stayed at a motel, loved it, and Rick went to the park to cook food while I worked during the day.
I knew we had some shots of us at the park. We had completely taken … Read the blog
Dear Rick,
I watched Danielle this morning – your job. I got up at 6:30am and, while she watched TV, I went into your office and uploaded MFTH blog pictures – your job.
I drove Danielle to school – your job.
As I was driving down Harrison, I thought how odd it was, this strange loop of life. I used … Read the blog