Sausage biscuits and bananas…
The Alexa shopping list still has items I was going to buy for Rick.
Fourteen weeks ago, he died.
November 19, 2017
… Read the blogCategory: Memories
Friday, 11/17/2017
Dear Rick,
When using the broken vase analogy, my counselor said to pick out some beautiful pieces and make a mosaic.
I think of that often, as I try to decide what to take from our marriage on my new solo journey – my very painful foray into the future without you.
It’s work-at-home Friday. I toiled all morning on … Read the blog
The award you weren’t here for
I won an award at work today and you weren’t here to share the joy with me. You were here when I found out I was being nominated. I just assumed you’d be here to find out if I won.
I’ll use the money toward the MacBook you insisted I need. You were planning to buy it for our anniversary … Read the blog
I Desperately Want to Turn Back Time
I desperately want to turn back time.
I want to relive every moment, good and bad.
I want you here.
I want more time.
I want normal and nothing has been normal since you died.
When you were diagnosed, we knew there was no forever,
but I never really pictured it. It was a vague shadowy future that I dreaded … Read the blog
Weeki Wachee
I was looking for a picture of Rick cooking to go with a blog post. I came across several pictures from Weeki Wachee. We stayed at a motel, loved it, and Rick went to the park to cook food while I worked during the day.
I knew we had some shots of us at the park. We had completely taken … Read the blog
Frozen meat
It’s noon and I’m hungry so I went to find food. I thought I’d take out some frozen chicken and maybe make a stir-fry for dinner.
I found 2 frozen chicken breasts and what looks like frozen steaks. Then I found 2 larger bags, with big cuts of some kind of meat.
I thought, this is ridiculous. It looks dry/frosty, … Read the blog
Flashbacks
Dear Rick,
I was taking a quick break to read emails between projects at work. One email was about SAE logo merchandise for sale.
I was browsing through the shirts and suddenly flashed back to Florida – you and I in a Walmart. You were buying two or three of those silky zip-up shirts that you liked so much. You … Read the blog
Twelve weeks
Dear Rick,
Twelve weeks.
This is the longest we’ve been apart since the night we met. How can I go on without you?
I thought the pain might be getting better…that the hole in my heart would start to heal. Scar over.
It’s not happening. It’s getting worse.
Another Sunday morning without you – what do I do? Where do … Read the blog
My mother was wrong
“A man will never love a woman as much as a woman loves a man.” – A quote from my mother after one of my boyfriends left me when I was in my early twenties.
If my mom were here now, I’d tell her how wrong she was.
Richard Kevin Palmer loved me as much as I loved him. He … Read the blog
Our House – the song
Our House
Crosby, Stills & Nash, 1970
I heard this song on the radio yesterday. Of course, I cried. I remember dancing with you in the kitchen when the song came on. I was so happy that we had our perfect life in our perfect house.
But then I remembered earlier, before we met. I remember in the 70s and … Read the blog