… So here I am, with all the usual stress inducers (and more) and no Rick to balance it all out for me. No backrubs. No one to say, “Don’t worry, honey, none of that matters. Let’s take a drive through the park.” I am graced with the support of wonderful friends and family, so I’m not alone. But the … Read the blog
Category: The new normal
My New Life
I hate that I’m getting used to it.
I hate that I’m used to being single now, that I have new routines, that I’m moving on. I’ve achieved my new normal.
I hate that I’m more “myself” again. I hate that I’m coping better, that I have new goals, fresh ideas for my future.
I hate that it’s getting easier … Read the blog
Keeping My Head Above Water
As an avid swimmer all my life, I know how dangerous and unpredictable waves can be. One minute, you’re frolicking in the surf, head above water, enjoying the vibrant, alive feeling of being submerged in the cold water, floating or swimming, and having the time of your life. The next, you’re knocked off your feet, gasping for breath as you’re … Read the blog
The Home Invasion
In the first few months after Rick died, I was in a state of nearly constant anxiety. The house no longer felt safe and I felt very alone. I have lived alone (as a single parent) before in my life, and I have also lived in an extremely unsafe neighborhood, yet it had never been like this. My safe and … Read the blog
Eighty Percent Me
On my way to trivia finals this morning, I was reminded of last October, two months after Rick died, when I was invited to play with this same team in a trivia finals event. After Rick was diagnosed in October 2016, we rarely went to our regular Monday league games anymore. At first, he was often sick with chemo side … Read the blog
When Logic Meets Grief
I’ve always considered myself a logical person. I love puzzling out things, playing detective. Rick teased me about my supposed sleuthing skills all the time and affectionately called me Kinsey Millhone (the great fictional detective in the Sue Grafton novels). I like logic so much, I even took two logic classes in college. But if there’s one thing I keep … Read the blog
It Takes a Village: My Latest Blog on Hope for Widows
“It takes a village to raise a child” is a well known African proverb that means child-rearing is a communal effort, that raising a child requires the experience and support of an entire community with whom the child can interact to help him or her learn and grow.
And since the death of my husband last year, I’ve discovered that … Read the blog
In Memoriam: Navigating the Bridge Between “Us” and “Me”
My latest post is on Hope for Widows website: In Memoriam: Navigating the Bridge Between “Us” and “Me”
Ever since Rick died, when making decisions or buying something new, I’ve thought in terms of what he would have liked or disliked. I do lots of things “in his memory,” and as the first anniversary of his death approaches, I’m slowly … Read the blog
Happy Anniversary to Me
I thought it may all be past me now, the feeling of devastation, the tsunami of pain. Apparently, it wasn’t.
I made it through our anniversary yesterday. We were married July 12, 1997. He died one month after our anniversary last year.
I feared it would be a day filled with the pain of his loss, but it wasn’t so … Read the blog
Time on My Hands
It’s tough to go on vacations now…too much time to think. I’m up north at the family cottage for two weeks, and the weather is beautiful. I have nothing to do but bask in the sun, play with the grandkids on the sandy beach of Lake Huron, enjoy time with my family, and take in the beauty of these natural … Read the blog