Once again, it’s the worst week of the year and I’m trying to make the best of it. My husband died on August 13, 2017. His birthday is August 23rd. The year he died, those 10 days were a fog of grief and pain. Rick was in remission, so his death came as a shock that Sunday. I remember feeling … Read the blog
The second anniversary of Rick’s death is Tuesday. In some ways, I can’t believe it’s been two years. In others, it feels like he’s been gone for ages. My life has changed so much since he was here, including finally acknowledging that I’m single again. Dating other men is surreal. How can this be? I was supposed to be with … Read the blog
I had a quiet four and a half hour driving trip back from the family cottage yesterday. Four and a half long hours to think about where my life is and where it’s going. As someone who’s been known to overthink things, that’s way too much time on my hands. But it was a lovely trip and it turns out … Read the blog
In early 2016, I led a charmed life.
I was married and sharing my world with a man who loved me. We lived in our happy little home, and enjoyed the perks of having worked for years and years to have our tech gadgets and our pool and our vacations. Rick had just started receiving social security benefits and my … Read the blog
I catch myself talking out loud a lot when I’m alone in the car. Luckily, nowadays, the passengers in the cars around me assume I’m on a hands-free phone, so it doesn’t seem strange to see me alone gabbing away while I’m sitting at the red light next to them.
Except, the reality is, I’m not on the phone. I’m … Read the blog
My counselor, Vaiva, told me in one of our early sessions that generally it takes about a year per decade of a marriage to work through the grief. It’s obviously not a hard and fast deadline, and everyone grieves differently. She was just letting me know early, that after having a relationship that lasted 20 years, I shouldn’t wonder why … Read the blog
My mom once told me…
That people in heaven can’t see us
She said heaven is a happy place, a peaceful place that our loved ones go to when they die
She said earth is a sad place
So people in heaven can’t see us hurting, sick, sad, and depressed
Or they would be sad, too.
My mom once told … Read the blog
Wow, what a sudden change – things had been going along pretty well. I’ve been feeling like I’m “back,” present in the present, so to speak. I feel sadness now and then, and there are some times when I miss Rick more than others, but no doubt that will probably last the rest of my life. In general, I’ve been … Read the blog
As I draw closer to the end of year two, I realize I no longer feel married. That sounds dumb, since Rick’s been gone for so long, but after twenty years of marriage, I still felt like his wife, no matter what. But in the past couple of months, that feeling has faded. I lead the life of a single … Read the blog