AKA "The Writing Woman"
So often now, in the midst of happiness, I’ll feel this gloom settle over me. I know right away that it’s not a “random” sadness; it’s definitely Rick-related. I feel those tears just below the surface, a very mild form of the horrible grief I had shortly after losing him, but it builds every day and it starts to intrude … Read the blog
I heard the news, and then I cried
A boy I used to love has died
We were just teens the night we met
No boy had ever kissed me yet
So long ago and far away
He smiled at me and made my day
He held my hand, he kissed my face
I followed him most any place
His … Read the blog
Beneath the surface, the pain waits
For the waves of movement to stop
For your flurry of activity to slow
For the churning waters of your busy life to settle
The life you were so proud of recreating from the ashes
Beneath the surface, the pain waits
For the quiet times,
The peaceful times
When life is lovely and your … Read the blog
When my son was a toddler, I wanted time to stand still. I loved being a mother. I loved the daily cuteness and cuddling and knew I’d never enjoy anything in life as much as I did being his mom. But he continued to grow, and each year, I enjoyed life more. His million questions, his sloppy kisses, holding him … Read the blog
Today is Rick‘s birthday. At this stage, I’m experienced enough with grief to know that I need to take a little time by myself before I try to venture out into public. Even two-year-old grief needs a time and a place to be released. So I stayed in bed this morning, my last vacation day this week, pulled up the … Read the blog
Sitting poolside
On this hot July day
Basking in the sun,
Eyes closed against the strong rays
Two years here alone
Two summers without you
A lifetime between then and now
But I find I’m…
Still waiting
Still waiting to hear the back door slam
You, back from your bicycle ride
Still waiting to feel your shadow cross my face… Read the blog
Rick and I were married on July 12, 1997. He died one month after our twentieth anniversary. This Friday will mark the second time I’ve spent our anniversary alone. In a way, it’s almost the third time, because on our last anniversary together in 2017, he was pretty sick and often mentally confused, so our special day wasn’t so special. … Read the blog
It’s a beautiful day in northern Michigan, the beginning of the week-long vacation my family and I enjoy every July at our cottage. My grandpa built his retirement home on Lake Huron nearly sixty years ago and it’s been passed down through generations to those of us who enjoy it today. We call it Paradise.
For me, coming here as … Read the blog
In early 2016, I led a charmed life.
I was married and sharing my world with a man who loved me. We lived in our happy little home, and enjoyed the perks of having worked for years and years to have our tech gadgets and our pool and our vacations. Rick had just started receiving social security benefits and my … Read the blog
I catch myself talking out loud a lot when I’m alone in the car. Luckily, nowadays, the passengers in the cars around me assume I’m on a hands-free phone, so it doesn’t seem strange to see me alone gabbing away while I’m sitting at the red light next to them.
Except, the reality is, I’m not on the phone. I’m … Read the blog