AKA "The Writing Woman"
One of my new favorite shows, 1883, has the characters saying some memorable lines. Since I’m involved in a relatively new romance, some of the lines about love give my heart a pleasant little twinge. But a discussion about grief in the last episode left me sobbing in a way I haven’t in a while. It…
The second anniversary of Rick’s death is Tuesday. In some ways, I can’t believe it’s been two years. In others, it feels like he’s been gone for ages. My life has changed so much since he was here, including finally acknowledging that I’m single again. Dating other men is surreal. How can this be? I…
Sitting poolside On this hot July day Basking in the sun, Eyes closed against the strong rays Two years here alone Two summers without you A lifetime between then and now But I find I’m… Still waiting Still waiting to hear the back door slam You, back from your bicycle ride Still waiting to feel…
Will it always be this way? I feel like I’m done grieving – if that’s even possible. The mornings waking up dreading the day ahead because I know how awful and painful living without him will be are over. The nights spent hoping fervently that I’ll dream of him, just to get a glimpse of…
Dear Rick, How can you be gone? I repeat this question to myself at least once a week, sometimes out loud, usually accompanied by a silent sob. I guess I’m getting better. It used to be several times a day, and – in the weeks after you died – it was several times an hour….
My latest book is now available on Amazon.com. A Widow’s Words: Grief, Reflection, Prose, and Poetry – The First Year is a compilation of my essays (blogs) and poems from the year following my husband’s death. It’s available in print and e-book versions. See it here. Book description: How did I end up publishing…
… But some nights, I lie down on my side, pull the covers around me, and put out the light, and I sense him there. It’s not a conscious decision; it just happens. I feel him scooch over next to me from behind and pull me to him, and snuggle up against me. I feel…
I’m used to life without you I’ve made all new routines The quiet house seems normal now My life’s gone on, it seems I function out in public Can hold my tears inside No longer overcome with sobs Seeking a place to hide I’m used to traveling on my own And tables set for one…
After more than a year of coming to terms with Rick’s death, today I came to realize that grieving is just a long-running battle with the words I tell myself in my head. There’s a voice in a continuously running monologue that tells me things that I need to either heed or ignore, words to…
I was fine. I made it through going to our diner for breakfast. I purposely flipped past the song that would make me cry on the way home on this dreary day. I pulled into our driveway and for one quick second, looked at the beautiful red-orange leaves on the tree outside our bedroom and…