AKA "The Writing Woman"
Now that you’ve been gone so long
And life and time keep moving on
I spend less time within my room
Crying, weeping, feeling gloom
Those days, those months of constant grief
Incessant pain with no relief
The unrelenting agony
Of knowing you are gone from me
Have seemed to pass and though I’m sad
And tears still come, it’s … Read the blog
How did it ever come to be
That you became a part of me?
I started out my life alone
Content to live life on my own
But then I fell in love with you
As time went on, that’s when I knew
It was our destiny to meet
Your love for me made me complete
Our wedding day, I … Read the blog
… But some nights, I lie down on my side, pull the covers around me, and put out the light, and I sense him there. It’s not a conscious decision; it just happens. I feel him scooch over next to me from behind and pull me to him, and snuggle up against me. I feel the cocoon of his love, … Read the blog
It’s been fifteen months since my husband died, and I have a question…
What exactly is my allotted grieving time?
Is there a prescribed time limit? Can I access a table of typical grief limits allowed per relationship type? Parent = 9.3 months? Cousin = 4 months? Aunt/uncle = 6.2 months? I can’t even begin to guess the grief time … Read the blog
Sometimes, I can still hear your voice in my head telling me, “I love you honey.” I can still hear you saying, “It will be OK.”
And every now and then one of your catchphrases pops into my head: “That’s why they call me ‘the big fella,’” or even, “Shut the hell up.”
When something good happens – “That’s better … Read the blog
I was missing Rick on our second Thanksgiving apart, and my second birthday without him, but I realized that he will never truly be gone.
Thanksgiving Day, 2018
Another holiday is done
The kids came by and we had fun
I’m thankful for my family
And how my life’s turned out to be
But now this special day is through… Read the blog
Can I pretend, just for a few minutes
That you are outside in the yard
Wearing your red flannel hoodie?
Can I imagine, just for a while
On this beautiful November Saturday –
That you’re raking the fallen leaves, as you loved to do?
Wearing your tiny white iPhone earbuds,
You’re listening to the new Grisham book
Oh, how you … Read the blog
After more than a year of coming to terms with Rick’s death, today I came to realize that grieving is just a long-running battle with the words I tell myself in my head. There’s a voice in a continuously running monologue that tells me things that I need to either heed or ignore, words to believe or recognize as a … Read the blog
I was fine.
I made it through going to our diner for breakfast. I purposely flipped past the song that would make me cry on the way home on this dreary day.
I pulled into our driveway and for one quick second, looked at the beautiful red-orange leaves on the tree outside our bedroom and remembered that we bought this … Read the blog
I hate that I’m getting used to it.
I hate that I’m used to being single now, that I have new routines, that I’m moving on. I’ve achieved my new normal.
I hate that I’m more “myself” again. I hate that I’m coping better, that I have new goals, fresh ideas for my future.
I hate that it’s getting easier … Read the blog