AKA "The Writing Woman"
Dear Rick,
We were in a world of our own, a perfect world we created together.
Perfect.
We jealously guarded the world, only letting in close family members. Only going to a few social events if they really struck our fancy. Otherwise, our home, our car, our forays to diners and restaurants were solo. They were us.
We refined our … Read the blog
From my letters to Rick, October 29, 2017
I haven’t written to you in a while. I’ve been talking to you all the time, though. We sit here chatting every evening, don’t we? You typically have nothing to say, but we both know I did most of the talking anyway.
I miss you.
Those words sure don’t convey the pain … Read the blog
OCTOBER 23 Grief Meditation
“Why not” is a slogan for an interesting life. —MASON COOLEY
At first our energy is absorbed in doing the necessary things—making arrangements, speaking with those who come to console us. After the immediate hubbub is over, we are probably exhausted. Then, when some strength to do “optional things” begins to come back, we probably return … Read the blog
Every step I take forward is a step away from you.
But is it?
It’s a step away from what we shared.
It’s a step away from my time with you.
But is it also a step toward the future – the afterlife – I will share with you?
Are you sitting on the beach waiting for me, an empty
[i carry your heart with me(i carry it in]
BY E. E. CUMMINGS
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my … Read the blog
Dear Rick,
I’m at work.
It’s 9:47 am, and suddenly I pictured being at the hospital with you.
Getting on the elevator at the medical center, you turn to me and jab at my stomach and I warn you that there are cameras watching your abuse.
Then we continue with the horseplay
I swat at you
Or I throw my … Read the blog
Dear Rick,
I just remembered the giant TV. We bought it at Best Buy after my parents said we could borrow their empty Discover card. You were flabbergasted that they would come down and offer it to us. They lived in the apartment a few doors down and they came to visit just to offer the card. They knew we … Read the blog
Dear Rick,
Since you died, I’ve been amassing photos, videos, and even one voice recording I found. I’ve found things you’ve written – in longhand – and in google docs or Word.
I’ve gathered anything and everything that can keep your memory fresh.
Right now, I’m doing an Amazon Prime photo backup and seeing pictures I haven’t seen in a … Read the blog
Dear Rick,
I just made eggs for breakfast.
You used to do this for me every day before I left for work. You’d ask, “Do you want breakfast?” and I’d say, “Yes, please.” And you’d make three scrambled eggs in a small pan while I showered, and dressed, and ran to catch up because, as usual, I’d overslept.
Meanwhile, you’d … Read the blog
I hate Fridays! I can’t stop sobbing. I want to go out on the deck with my husband and celebrate the end of the work week. We should be enjoying wine and appetizers, then whatever he grilled for our dinner. I want to sit and talk about nothing and everything. Then I want to dance in the kitchen because a … Read the blog